The diary of an accidental vegetarian
I accidentally became veggie recently. Well for a week, actually. Almost.
I was queuing in Mcdonald's (since they seem to be making an effort on the straw and recycling-front I don't feel too guilty about eating there occasionally) and when the guy asked me what I wanted, 'A veggie burger meal, please' just literally jumped out of my mouth!
I didn't even plan it. I always go for a BigMac. Why on earth did my body order me a veggie burger!?
I went with it and quite enjoyed the much-smaller-than-I'd-imagined, dry burger which eventually arrived. (Apparently most people don't order veggie burgers at Maccies and I had to wait. At least it'd be hot, I thought)
As I sat there, wondering why Borehamwood Mcdonald's required security guards at 5 O'clock in the afternoon, I had a revelation.
I'd been veggie ALL that day. Breakfast and lunch was a homemade fruit and veggie smoothie (most teachers do this so they can eat and run around all the way through their unpaid lunch breaks!) and now the vegetarian Mcdonald's.
So what was the big deal? So -what, I'd accidentally not eaten meat that day but could I continue it the next day? I gave it a go. With some success.
Again it was veggie smoothies for breakfast and lunch and when it came to dinner that night, I was quite impressed when a friend of mine ordered a pizza and was allowed to bring it into the bar we were in. Unfortunately, she hadn't got the veggie memo by this point and I'd devoured half of the tuna- capered delight, all the while explaining with a mouth full of mozzarella that I was trying to be a veggie that day.
Shit. OK, so did this mean I was Pescatarian instead?
That got me thinking.
With some encouragement from a real vegetarian friend of mine, I decided to sign up to National Vegetarian Week (May 14th-20th) Why? You may be wondering. Well, reducing what waste I bring into my house is something I intend on becoming better at. Limiting the meat I buy, would therefore be a step in the right direction. I also can't help but think of the money I'd save and the positive impact I might have on the planet or the people I may inspire to do the same.
So how did I get on?
Monday - SAT week: A Year 6 teacher's most stressful time of the year. Chocolate, booze and biscuits run permanently through our veins. This year's SATs start the same as always.
Senior management and other colleagues had dropped a tonne of chocolate, biscuits and Good Luck cards on my desk. So breakfast is a fruit smoothie I'd prepared at home and 50 biscuits dunked in coffee. Lunch is nice actually, despite the fact I made it and I'm an awful cook- veggie soup and a tortilla to dip in it. With a side of an entire box of Heroes.
Dinner is another smoothie, pistachio nuts and a Gin and Tonic (or five)
Tuesday- 8am school staff room. Ten boxes of cake brought in by the Head Teacher on a weekly basis to keep morale high and our waistlines thick. Teachers are animals when it comes to food and I have a slice of ginger cake with my morning smoothie and first coffee of the day. I definitely would have failed if this was National Vegan Week with the amount of milk and egg- based treats I've had already! 11am, first and only exam of the day over with, so more biscuits as a 'well- done- me' (I'm not even bloody sitting the tests!) Lunch is another smoothie and because I can't face my own cooking again, I go to Sainsbury's and buy a box of frozen bean burgers for dinner. I have one in a tortilla wrap and half of bag of cashew nuts in the car on the way home from the supermarket.
Wednesday- When I was young, I discovered I was allergic to Quorn and despite knowing this, my mum (real veggie, occasional Vegan- absolute hippy) would 'test' the allergy was still there by surreptitiously feeding me it in Spaghetti Bolognese. The resulting vomiting, confirmed the problem wasn't a one off! Anyway, so when my mum comes to visit me, she always cooks. And because I'm always skint, I get her to do me a massive veggie cottage pie and freeze it in individual Tupperware boxes. So this morning I rummage through my freezer trying to find my mother's most recent lentil- based offering which I will defrost and eat later for dinner. Yum! Breakfast and lunch- more calorific dairy- based goodies (let's leave it there!)
Thursday- Work night out tonight. London is apparently the most veggie- friendly city in the world according to PETA. Tonight I'm out with my team who consist of two real veggies and a vegan so I'm in good hands. We head to the local pub (shunning London's finest veggie restaurants as we're all too knackered from the SATs to venture too far- sorry PETA) but are pleasantly surprised by what's on offer. I could murder a chicken, bacon and avocado salad but instead go for Nachos and home made hummus with more carbs 'to dip' in. I may be veggie this week but I'm definitely not eating enough of them! I literally have more rolls than a bakery!
Friday- Date night. Being new to the dating scene, I'm grateful that my date doesn't suggest having a meal together. The thought of eating in front of a potential suitor sends a shiver down my spine. Spinach in the teeth, spaghetti down the shirt, talking with my mouth full- a bloody mine field- one I am not ready for! I have to guiltily admit the fact that I am also worried I'll be judged as a crazy vegetarian hippy and my date will run a mile. Shallow? Perhaps. But definitely true. I avoid the grub and just get smashed instead. I blame the nerves.
Saturday- Normally, like most people, I wake up hungover and a bacon roll sorts me out- unless you're my best friend, Steph and then it's a large McDonald's cheeseburger meal (with an extra portion of fries and a coke zero every hour until she feels better) But this morning's different. I'm hungover but I don't want meat. Eggs on toast it is. Lunch time arrives and this hangover, as it turns out, is a progressive one. By 3pm I've got the shakes, my head's pounding and I'm starving-my fault for missing dinner last night. As my friend piles up the hamburgers from an impromptu BBQ, I find I just can't resist. In about three bites, I've shoveled a cheeseburger into my gob. Shit it. I console myself with the fact it's more of a medical emergency than falling off the wagon through choice. Well...I only had one.
Sunday- Mum comes for a visit. Force-feeder of mackerel and mini sprouts- which basically resemble the roots that grow out of the bottom of a spring onion and taste like crap, (yes, they're a thing!) my mother is obsessed with making sure my macros and protein are all aligned. She prepares the most amazing broccoli and cheese covered bake with eggs and cherry tomatoes. There's even enough left over for work tomorrow. Yum!
So what have I learned this week? Well, if I'm going to choose meat, it will be pre- planned and bought using my own Tupperware (well done Morison's for making this easier now!) Or it will be at a friend's house for the occasional BBQ or dinner party. There's definitely no excuse for bringing excess packaged meat into the house now. I'm a rubbish cook and spoil meat anyway.
The thing with veggies is, raw or cooked, they're pretty idiot-proof and will always taste good no matter what disaster they're involved in inside my kitchen.
So what else have I learned this week? I'm definitely not a natural and would make a rubbish vegan BUT I didn't miss meat at all. I had one moment of post-alcohol induced weakness. Just one!
Yes I'm weak-willed but I'm not scared of admitting to being an accidental vegetarian now. I'd now much rather be a 'veggie-bore' than a complete carnivore.
I was queuing in Mcdonald's (since they seem to be making an effort on the straw and recycling-front I don't feel too guilty about eating there occasionally) and when the guy asked me what I wanted, 'A veggie burger meal, please' just literally jumped out of my mouth!
I didn't even plan it. I always go for a BigMac. Why on earth did my body order me a veggie burger!?
I went with it and quite enjoyed the much-smaller-than-I'd-imagined, dry burger which eventually arrived. (Apparently most people don't order veggie burgers at Maccies and I had to wait. At least it'd be hot, I thought)
As I sat there, wondering why Borehamwood Mcdonald's required security guards at 5 O'clock in the afternoon, I had a revelation.
I'd been veggie ALL that day. Breakfast and lunch was a homemade fruit and veggie smoothie (most teachers do this so they can eat and run around all the way through their unpaid lunch breaks!) and now the vegetarian Mcdonald's.
So what was the big deal? So -what, I'd accidentally not eaten meat that day but could I continue it the next day? I gave it a go. With some success.
Again it was veggie smoothies for breakfast and lunch and when it came to dinner that night, I was quite impressed when a friend of mine ordered a pizza and was allowed to bring it into the bar we were in. Unfortunately, she hadn't got the veggie memo by this point and I'd devoured half of the tuna- capered delight, all the while explaining with a mouth full of mozzarella that I was trying to be a veggie that day.
Shit. OK, so did this mean I was Pescatarian instead?
That got me thinking.
With some encouragement from a real vegetarian friend of mine, I decided to sign up to National Vegetarian Week (May 14th-20th) Why? You may be wondering. Well, reducing what waste I bring into my house is something I intend on becoming better at. Limiting the meat I buy, would therefore be a step in the right direction. I also can't help but think of the money I'd save and the positive impact I might have on the planet or the people I may inspire to do the same.
So how did I get on?
Monday - SAT week: A Year 6 teacher's most stressful time of the year. Chocolate, booze and biscuits run permanently through our veins. This year's SATs start the same as always.
Senior management and other colleagues had dropped a tonne of chocolate, biscuits and Good Luck cards on my desk. So breakfast is a fruit smoothie I'd prepared at home and 50 biscuits dunked in coffee. Lunch is nice actually, despite the fact I made it and I'm an awful cook- veggie soup and a tortilla to dip in it. With a side of an entire box of Heroes.
Dinner is another smoothie, pistachio nuts and a Gin and Tonic (or five)
Wednesday- When I was young, I discovered I was allergic to Quorn and despite knowing this, my mum (real veggie, occasional Vegan- absolute hippy) would 'test' the allergy was still there by surreptitiously feeding me it in Spaghetti Bolognese. The resulting vomiting, confirmed the problem wasn't a one off! Anyway, so when my mum comes to visit me, she always cooks. And because I'm always skint, I get her to do me a massive veggie cottage pie and freeze it in individual Tupperware boxes. So this morning I rummage through my freezer trying to find my mother's most recent lentil- based offering which I will defrost and eat later for dinner. Yum! Breakfast and lunch- more calorific dairy- based goodies (let's leave it there!)
Saturday- Normally, like most people, I wake up hungover and a bacon roll sorts me out- unless you're my best friend, Steph and then it's a large McDonald's cheeseburger meal (with an extra portion of fries and a coke zero every hour until she feels better) But this morning's different. I'm hungover but I don't want meat. Eggs on toast it is. Lunch time arrives and this hangover, as it turns out, is a progressive one. By 3pm I've got the shakes, my head's pounding and I'm starving-my fault for missing dinner last night. As my friend piles up the hamburgers from an impromptu BBQ, I find I just can't resist. In about three bites, I've shoveled a cheeseburger into my gob. Shit it. I console myself with the fact it's more of a medical emergency than falling off the wagon through choice. Well...I only had one.
Sunday- Mum comes for a visit. Force-feeder of mackerel and mini sprouts- which basically resemble the roots that grow out of the bottom of a spring onion and taste like crap, (yes, they're a thing!) my mother is obsessed with making sure my macros and protein are all aligned. She prepares the most amazing broccoli and cheese covered bake with eggs and cherry tomatoes. There's even enough left over for work tomorrow. Yum!
So what have I learned this week? Well, if I'm going to choose meat, it will be pre- planned and bought using my own Tupperware (well done Morison's for making this easier now!) Or it will be at a friend's house for the occasional BBQ or dinner party. There's definitely no excuse for bringing excess packaged meat into the house now. I'm a rubbish cook and spoil meat anyway.
The thing with veggies is, raw or cooked, they're pretty idiot-proof and will always taste good no matter what disaster they're involved in inside my kitchen.
So what else have I learned this week? I'm definitely not a natural and would make a rubbish vegan BUT I didn't miss meat at all. I had one moment of post-alcohol induced weakness. Just one!
Yes I'm weak-willed but I'm not scared of admitting to being an accidental vegetarian now. I'd now much rather be a 'veggie-bore' than a complete carnivore.
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